Good communication displays confidence. It may not be innate but can be learnt and practised until it becomes second nature. It’s about being aware of the message one puts across, from first impressions created by body language to small talk and the art of conversation in any relationship.
First Impressions, Body Language and Non-Verbal Communication
Dress creates the first impression, choose it to suit the occasion, casual, smart, business. It need not be expensive but let personality shine, maybe with an accessory to attract interest or a compliment. Groom to match and pay attention to detail, first impressions matter.
Greetings vary according to culture, handshake, kiss on the cheek, bow, respond in the appropriate manner. Mirroring behaviour puts partners on the same wave length and inspires trust.
Adopt a confident balanced posture, back straight, shoulders down, it looks good, feels good and sends a positive message. Being nervous is okay, but showing it isn’t, so no fidgeting, no hands tucked in pockets, no crossed arms or legs, and it's also important to move with ease, forget the cat walk, just be natural.
Then when the conversation gets under way, remember to maintain eye contact. Shifting eyes are seen as a lack of confidence or outright dishonesty.
Good Communication, Top Tips
There are several methods that an individual can use to maintain good communication skills:
- Tailor the verbal greeting to the company. Whether it's 'hello,' 'hi,' 'good morning,' one must use a word that's part of the other person's language; trust intuition and go with the flow.
- Make an effort to memorize names and be sure to use them next time round, it’s a great way to impress and show one cares.
- Speak with enthusiasm but don’t rush, that betrays nerves, blurs speech and soon loses attention.
- Be generous with compliments and gratitude, not a mere ‘thanks’, but 'thank you for your suggestion, that's really helpful.'
- Mirror the vocabulary of those around you, casual friends, work colleagues and so on, is it children or kids, manager or boss, aim to fit in.
- If the conversation dries up, be prepared and know what’s going on, mention the latest news, the latest trends.
- Keep a cool head if an argument arises, simply repeat your point without changing a word and move on.
The Art of Conversation, Golden Rule for Small Talk
In social gatherings, the art of small talk means turning the spotlight on others. The more often the word 'you' comes into the picture, the more successful the conversation will appear. As an example, consultant Leil Lowndes suggests rephrasing ‘I like your dress’ as ‘this dress really suits you;' the latter is more personal for the listener.
That also means asking questions, listening to answers and showing genuine interest. Avoid inviting yes or no answers, phrase questions to open up possibilities, what do you like best about your job, what do you enjoy doing in your spare time. Likewise when answering, offer more than a single word, don’t hug the limelight but give others a chance to expand.
Source: by Leil Lowndes.
How to Talk to Anyone
Solange Hando - I am a travel writer, editor and photographer, contributing to a range of publications in the UK and worldwide.
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